school bus sermon
by Sage Tyrtle
In the back of the school bus, Cheryl Ronan is explaining to me about God. She is only ten months older than me, but she is taller and in fifth grade, and in the early winter dark her muted voice makes me think of priests I’ve seen on television taking confession.
“God tells men what to do, and men tell women what to do, and women do it,” Cheryl says. Her plastic butterfly barrette glints in the passing streetlights. She leans closer and her breath smells like granola bars.
I don’t tell her about last week, when I was sitting on my bed praying and praying for God to help me pass the multiplication test I hadn’t studied for. And how, without warning, I felt like I was on a phone line that had been hung up. Nothing but a dial tone on the other end. I don’t tell her because I don’t want it to be real.
“And girls grow up to be women,” intones Cheryl, as the bus stops to let Lisa Romero and the Hetrick brothers off. “And women must marry men, and have children, because that’s God’s Will.”
And I don’t know it yet, but one day I will see Cheryl at the grocery store when I’m back home visiting my parents. I won’t recognize her but she will recognize me — despite my cropped hair, despite my Doc Martens — and she will clutch my arm, she will display her three small blonde boys squabbling over a Nintendo Switch. She will hold up her phone to show a photo of her husband standing behind a podium in a shiny white suit. “His church is First Baptist, he pastors to so many souls. He’s a man of God,” she will say, and she will be nothing but cheekbones. Fingers clacking. “I’m so happy to be his wife,” she will say, her teeth too big for her mouth. “I’m so happy.”
The End
Sage Tyrtle's work is available or upcoming in New Delta Review, The Offing, and Apex among others. She's told stories on stages all over the world and her words have been featured on NPR, CBC, and PBS. She runs a low cost online writing workshop collective. Twitter: @sagetyrtle